Magic Word “Introvert”
I realized I am difference compare to my colleagues when some of them started to comment I am anti-social. And I don’t talk much most of the time except with a few of them. I prefer to eat lunch by myself or with selected closer colleagues. When in a group, I will listen more than talk, or with very little words. I dislike going to the relative house during the festive season as I don’t wish to socialize. But I am considered lucky because my family members did not give me pressure to social more at the relative house.
Over time, it makes me not happy at work when they commented I am anti-social. At first, I am still okay and ignore all these craps. But over time, I started to believe that I have problems. I am quiet or shy. It is not good for my career and social relationship. Then I bought a book on communication like “How To Make Friend”. I either did not read it or read and did not take any action.
At home, I like to stay in my room doing my own things. And by the way, I am still the same even today. At that time, I don’t even know it is called “ME TIME”. Something that an introvert loves to do as part of recharging our energy. I rather stay at home than go for ex-colleague or school mates gathering. I only went out with a selective small group of friends that I am close to.
The Power of Introverts by Susan Cain
Until many years ago, I finally realized that I am perfectly normal with my characteristics such as anti-social (we called it selective social :p), quiet, prefer ME TIME, dislike noisy places, hate small talks, and many more. All these unique characteristics belong to one bunch of awesome people called Introverts. It is the personality of the individual that people label as Introvert, Extrovert, and Ambivert (mix of Introvert and Extrovert). This magic word “INTROVERT” that I heard it from Susan Cain in her Ted Talks “The Power of Introverts”
If you have yet to watch it, you can play the Youtube video above. It is only a 19.04-minute long video. She authored Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking book that’s been on The New York Times bestseller list for over three years and has been translated into 36 languages.
Proud To Be An Introvert
Let me ask you a question? What’s wrong about becoming an introvert? I am happy and proud of who I am, yes I am an Introvert and I am still successful in certain areas in my life. I am married, I have friends, I am happy, I can talk a lot to those that are closer to me, I can be alone reading a book, I can be alone attending a concert and I can be quiet when I have nothing to say. And when my job requires me to conduct training and I have to speak in front of a group of people, I did it. Yes, it was tiring and the initial few times I was not comfortable. But I did it, and eventually, it will become normal once I gain experience and skills.
The New Introvert
BUT it is not okay if we let all these labels (Introvert, Extrovert, Ambivert) that people putting on us to limit us and eventually become limiting beliefs. The danger of this is once we see ourselves as this Identity, our behaviors/actions will match our identity. If you see yourself as a kind person (Identity), then you will always show kindness to others. If you see yourself as an Introvert (Identity), then you will behave likes how an introvert supposes to be. Sometimes I am thinking to myself, why should we put a label on ourselves and others. Every one of us is unique. If I am a quiet person and I am happy with it, there is nothing wrong with it. But if my job requires me to talk, then I will find a strategy/skill on how to talk effectively. Once I am back home, then I will become myself.
We are unique, adaptable and proud of who we are. We are the New Introvert.Bryan K, Author of Happy Is Easy