Today, I want to share with you this simple strategy on How to Master and Control your Emotions. This is very important in both our personal and professional life. The secret behind our emotions or state is basically these three elements of the Focus, the Meaning, and the Physiology. These three will influence the state of our emotions.
Physiology, Focus, and Meaning
What is Physiology?
In layman term is actually the way we use our physical body, like our body posture, our movement, our gesture, our facial expressions, our muscle tension, the way we breathe deep or shallow. All these were caused by our brain to produce different biochemicals in our bodies that affect our emotions. So by controlling how we use our physiology or our physical body, we can influence our emotions.
Let me ask you a question. Can you recall the last time when you feel sad? How does your physiology look like? Is it straight up or is it slanting? Do you talk very fast or slow? How does your facial expression like? Did you smile or not?
So the next thing will be the focus. What are you focusing on every day? Is it the thing that pisses you off, or things that upset you? Is it things that you are grateful for? Is it things that you’re excited about? If we’re going to focus what upset or pissed us of every day, what kind of emotion do we think we will have? Excited or angry? Most probably will be angry, will be sad, right? If we are going to focus on what you can grateful for every day, what will be your emotion is? Of course, grateful emotions, joy, happy things that can make you excited, then you will feel very lively.
So the question is how do I set my focus. First, choose what to read or listen to every day. So every morning when you wake up, when you, let’s say browse your Facebook, what kind of new feed normally appears on your wall? Is it some distressing news? Is it some negative news? If this is what we actually feed ourselves every day, yes, what would be the emotion is? You’re going to feel very motivated or do you feel it’s very doom. So second is to ask me quality questions. For example when the first alarm ring in the morning, if I’m going to ask myself quality questions like, Oh, what should I do today in order for me to reach my goal? If I ask myself, Oh, what time is it? Oh, it’s only 6.30 in the morning. Okay, I still got time. I still got time. What happened next, I will continue to sleep right. So ask yourself a quality question to set your focus.
The next thing is I practice morning ritual. My morning rituals are very simple. I will start by thinking of something that I can feel grateful for. Then I am going to thinking of something that I want to achieve in my life. Of course, other things like drinking plain waters right after I wake up and so on. I also have this practice of writing a five-minute journal once in the morning and once at night before sleep.
What is the meaning we give to any situation that happened to us? Any external event, meaning will create different emotions. It can be happy. It can unhappy. Then meaning we’ll create different responses to the situations. If you could have a meaning that gives you positive emotions, then you will have a positive response to the situation. If your meaning is going to create a negative emotion, you couldn’t have a negative response to the situation. Do you want to give a good or bad meaning to it? You have a choice. You have the power to choose.
One question you should ask is, what is the outcome you desire for the events? For example, early morning, I go to work, then I stuck in a traffic jam. I can give this meaning, again traffic jam, every day every morning I go out sure traffic jam, life is so tough. No. If this meaning I go to give to the traffic jam, what do you think my day will be? It will be going to something not so smooth, right? If I am going to give a good meaning to it, Oh, traffic jams again hmm then I am going to have more time to listen to my audio programs. I going to have more time to listen or to watch my downloaded YouTube on some motivational stuff to improve myself. So by giving a better meaning to these events, I am going to have a better feeling, better emotions. I am going to have a better day too.